


It's Not Gay in a  Threeway

by blackgoliath



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:55:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackgoliath/pseuds/blackgoliath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hank bill and janet get drunk and bill's kind of depressed about his love life so hank and jan decide to help him out. you can't tell me with hankjan being the most kinky couple in marvel canon that this never happened okay</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Gay in a  Threeway

”Come on, Bill, what’s the matter? You’ve been acting down all night.”

Bill looked up from his beer, offering Jan a small smile. “I’m fine, really.” He was sitting at the kitchen table with Hank in the chair adjacent to him; Jan had her arms wrapped around Hank’s neck from behind and was leaning against him. Usually they were pretty good about not being too coupley in front of Bill, but they more the drank the touchier they got. He’d learned to shrug it off.

“No you’re not.” Hank took the last swig of his beer. “You’ve been in a funk all week, don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“We’re your friends. You know you can tell us anything that’s bothering you.” Jan reached out and put her hand on Bill’s. He stared at it for a second before taking a breath and letting it out on a sigh.

“All right, all right. Maybe I haven’t been doing so great lately.” He looked away from them (though he could still feel their eyes on his face; the combined power of their stare was intimidating, to say the least) and finished his beer. “I saw Claire and Luke Cage the other day, out in the park. I think they were on a date.” He pulled his hand away from Jan’s and fiddled with his empty beer can. “And I started thinking about how happy we were when we were in college, and how our marriage ended because of me.”

“Oh, honey,” Jan said soothingly, pulling away from Hank. She put both hands on Bill’s face, turning it so he was looking at her. “You know that’s not true.”

“Yeah, it is. I worked too much and wasn’t there for her.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be,” Hank chimed in. “Look at me and Janet. I work all the time too, but she’s still here.” They shared a smile and Bill’s mood dropped several notches from jealousy. 

“I know, but I still can’t help but think that I could have done something to prevent it.” Bill stared at the wall just behind Janet’s ear and mumbled, “And I haven’t even been with a woman since the divorce. I haven’t been with anyone.”

Janet gave him a comforting kiss on the forehead, and when she pulled back to look at him her expression suddenly changed. Her lips twitched, the corners turning up in the mischievous smile he’d learned to recognize as trouble. Bill glanced at Hank, who was frowning slightly at his wife’s grin, and raised a brow.

“What?”

“I just had a great idea.” Janet stepped back and put her hand on Hank’s shoulder. “We’re going to help you with your… problem. Isn’t that right, Henry?”

Hank looked from Bill and Jan and back again, then started hesitantly, “I’m sure we could set you up with someone, Bill, maybe a blind date—”

“That’s not what I meant, dear.” Janet’s smile turned pointed. “I didn’t say we were going to find someone to help him. I said _we_ were going to help him.”

“Oh,” Hank said, eyes widening.

Bill stared. “Wait, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” He looked to Hank, expecting to see a reflection of his own shock and wonder. Instead, Hank dropped his eyes, and even started blushing. Bill swallowed.

“I really appreciate the sentiment, really, but you guys don’t have to do that—”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Jan cut in. She was in front of Bill now, her finger under his chin, tilting his face up. He glanced frantically at Hank, waiting for Hank to say something, something like ‘that’s my wife’, but Hank was watching them both with the strangest expression on his face, his cheeks an even darker crimson. When Bill looked back at Janet he was startled by how much closer she was.

“I remember the way you looked at blue eyes over there when we dressed him up last month,” she continued, her voice taking on a silky quality that was doing some interesting things to Bill’s stomach. “So don’t think you can try that ‘but I’m straight!’ excuse on me.” She brushed her thumb over his lips. His heart tried to jump out of his throat. “What do you say?”

“I—I—um—”

“It’s okay, Bill.” Hank’s voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat. “It’s okay,” he repeated. “You can say yes.”

“But—”

“No buts, mister!” Jan interrupted. She stepped back, taking Bill’s hands and pulling him to his feet. “Just follow us, we’ll take care of you.”

Fifteen minutes later and Bill still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up in this situation, but he couldn’t say that he wasn’t enjoying it. He was kneeling, naked, in front of Janet and Hank - both of whom were also naked, a process that had taken longer than expected because Bill kept trying to awkwardly sidle into the closet while Jan and Hank took turns removing different pieces of his clothing. Hank had his hands on Janet’s breasts and his mouth on her throat; Bill was kissing her collarbone, his hand between her legs and his confidence in himself growing (much like another thing I could mention). At first he’d been hesitant, with Jan guiding his hands where she wanted them to go, quietly giving him encouragement until the only sounds she could make were soft moans at the attention. 

With his thumb ghosting over her clit, Bill slid two fingers inside Jan, smiling a little at the gasp she gave and the way she spread her legs wider. He felt a hand on the back of his head and was pulled up to meet Hank in a fierce kiss that surprised him. There were things - a _lot_ of things - about his relationship with Hank that were confusing and new and they were trying to come to his attention right now but he pushed them back, getting a little lost in the kiss, maybe enjoying it a little _too_ much as his hand fisted in Hank’s hair and it was only when Jan cleared her throat and said firmly, “Don’t forget about me, boys” that Bill realized he’d stopped moving his hand and apparently so had Hank. 

“Sorry,” Bill mumbled as he pulled away from Hank, avoiding his friend’s eyes, but Jan just smiled and then she was kissing him, and damn if he didn’t get lost again because Janet van Dyne was possibly the best kisser he’d ever known, and he was moving his fingers inside her and feeling more than hearing her moans against his mouth and it was all getting a little too much for him to bear.

Apparently Jan agreed because she broke away, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen, and pushed his hand away. 

“Hank, sweetie, can you get the condoms and lube out of the nightstand drawer?” she asked, craning her neck so she could smile at her husband. Hank nodded and gave her a quick peck on the mouth before leaning over to do what she’d asked. Bill saw two shiny packages of condoms and a small bottle (presumably the lube) before he was pulled onto his hands and knees by Janet, who had shifted so she could lie flat on her back. Bill looked down at her, a little bit in awe, as she smiled and dragged a hand down his chest.

He was distracted by the way her hair fell over her face and how she slid her tongue over her bottom lip and therefore was caught completely off-guard when he felt Hank’s hand on his butt. He tensed, sucking in a breath, and didn’t move. 

“Is this okay?” Hank’s voice wavered slightly, though Bill couldn’t tell why; he was too busy focusing on how Hank’s fingers (warm and wet and obviously lubed) were sliding between his butt cheeks. He spent at least a minute just concentrating on that sensation when Jan patted his cheek to get his attention.

“You have to say yes or no, honey,” she cooed. Bill blinked at her.

“Yeah, it’s—yeah,” he said finally. He looked over his shoulder at Hank, who was watching him, his hand not moving. “Go ahead.”

Janet dragged Bill down for a kiss as Bill felt the first of Hank’s fingers push inside him, and as he gasped into Jan’s mouth she took his dick in her hand and that was it for any coherency to his thoughts.

Whether it was the booze or the sheer intoxication of so much stimulation Bill didn’t know, but he couldn’t remember much about what happened next beyond a flurry of pleasure assaulting him literally from both sides. Jan had put on his condom and guided him inside her just as Hank was slowly pushing in from the back, and then Janet was whispering reassurance as she rolled her hips up against him because despite the preparation it kind of _hurt_ but Hank had moved slow and pressed his lips to Bill’s spine and eventually the pain gave way to a different feeling entirely. From then on it was all he could do to keep up with the pace the two of them set, clinging to Jan with his face buried in her hair, her soft lips on his ear, still whispering, though now the whispers were breathless and punctuated with moans and then Hank hit _something_ inside him and he was crying out and before he knew it the orgasm hit him, so hard and good that he could’ve sworn he went blind for a second from the force of it. As he shuddered and shook he heard Hank finish, and then the two of them were all sweaty skin and rubbery limbs on top of Jan, who was smiling and stroking their hair.

“Now,” she said, when the two of them had recovered enough just to look at her, “It’s my turn.”

It took some maneuvering before Janet had them where she wanted them. It was this part of the night that Bill remembered perfectly. He remembered the little sounds Janet made as Hank kissed and nuzzled her breasts, the way her hips arched beneath Bill’s mouth when he slid his tongue over her clit. He even remembered the way she _tasted_ for a long time after that, which was something he never admitted to anyone. He’d been lost before, but this was familiar territory, the warmth and the wetness and the way her skin folded around itself. He knew what to kiss and where to press with the tip of his tongue, knew the way to pull at the clit with his lips that had her gasping and pushing down on his head. He sucked and kissed and nibbled until she was moaning so loud it was on the verge of screaming, and when he pushed his fingers inside her again it didn’t take very long for the muscles to clench and flutter around the digits, her body jerking somewhat from the aftershocks. 

When Bill lifted his head, he saw that both Hank and Jan were smiling at him, though Hank looked half asleep so Bill wasn’t sure if it was just a reflex or genuine affection. Jan grabbed Bill by the arm and dragged her up next to him so she could cuddle in between both him and her husband.

“Well that was fun,” she mumbled in content, kissing Hank on the chin as she ran a hand through Bill’s hair. Hank made a noise of agreement.

“Thank you for this,” Bill said quietly. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it, honey.” Jan shifted and nuzzled into Bill’s chest while Hank took up the role of big spoon. Bill smiled sleepily, his eyes half closed, as a hand brushed over his cheek, though he didn’t see whose it was. Then Janet spoke again and his eyes flew open.

“But let us know when you’re available next week, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: all of the characters in this fic belong to Stan Lee and Marvel comics. I'm just the guy doing dirty things with them.


End file.
